I can’t get enough cable news. I’m as insatiable as Rush Limbaugh at an Old Country Buffet. These days, I’m most enjoying the Repubs’ genuflections toward El Rushbo, how one at a time they approach the radio altar and make their pleas for his forgiveness, which of course Rush can freely give, being essentially nothing but a mouth and a mic, neither of course equipped with an off switch. Rush’s own mother has said he was a failure at everything else he ever did; what more ringing endorsement can a man have from his mother than that? Does she regret having birthed him? I wonder.
Rush and I have Pittsburgh in common; I was born there, and he spent his early days in radio there. Pittsburgh’s long been a haven for talk radio, much of it skewed toward the conservative viewpoint. Mark Madden was yanked off the local airwaves some months ago for comments directed toward Ted Kennedy, and of course there’s always Jim (the “Mighty”) Quinn, a truly pompous, arrogant man I once had the misfortune off meeting one morning in the Shadyside district; I won’t forget his floor-length fur (mohair? Cat? Rat?) coat that made me hope the souls of those dead animals haunt Jim Quinn’s dreams for the rest of his life. His words are equally ridiculous; I’ll leave you to discover him for yourself if you want, but I’ll just say I found him instantly repugnant, and the interceding decades haven’t changed my mind one iota. The city also has a left-of-center presence on the terrestrial dial, but it’s the Limbaughs and Quinns who consistently bring the noise.
What can anybody say about a “man” who can “impersonate” Michael J. Fox? Who can tout a song titled “Barack, the Magic Negro”? He must consider his deafness a blessing; this way, his voice is the loudest sound he hears. His more recent tack, that he wants Obama to “fail,” obviously so the Repubs can fill the vacuum, is ham-handedly designed to keep Limbaugh in the news, and (he thinks) puts him in line for the interview I hope Obama will refuse to give him. One-on-one, I’m completely convinced Limbaugh has no clue what he’s getting into; it wouldn’t really be a fair intellectual fight, the Professor versus the Dropout (only two semesters in, mind) who still obviously holds a grudge against the academy. Still….remember back in school when the bully finally decided to pick on the wrong kid on the wrong day, and the bully found himself stuck upside-down in a trash compactor? Rush, I mean this: That’s your future, dude, if you ever found yourself in a room with Obama. He would stick you repeatedly, and make it hurt.
In the end, I don’t think Obama will grant that interview. He has no reason to get his hands dirty. On the other hand, I have watched some pretty unfair fights in my time, and there would be a certain vicarious thrill in the experience, sure. Without the interview, Rush will move on to new “ideas.” He did, after all, give us Operation Chaos, added so much to the American lexicon….he won’t sit still. There might be other sick people he can imitate.