The other day I called Pat Buchanan a cocksucker. This was wrong of me. First, I doubt it’s factually accurate. What self-respecting man would allow Pat Buchanan to fellate him, after all? If he did, it’d have to be on his knees whilst flashing the Nixonian “flying V” conservative gang-sign his old boss knew quite well upset the Left (and he was right). Secondly, and this is equally important, Brownshirt Pat could never stop talking long enough to gobble a rod, anyway.
And so, I apologize to cocksuckers everywhere.
1) Cocksucking is an art. Ask anyone who does it well, if they aren’t otherwise occupied with knob-noshing at the time.
2) Cocksucking is (in part) a socio-political act. A “blow against the empire,” if you will. It has nothing to do with procreation but recreation, and so is anaethema to Brownshirt Pat and his kind. Anyone—male and female and all other nuances—can do it. Unless you have an incurable gag reflex. Or you’re a straight male. Or both.
I could go on about the virtues of this issue, but I’ll stop there. Pat Buchanan’s too strung-up by his own paranoias and other various devils to even consider the idea, which, when I think about it, is all the better for anyone who could theoretically wind up on the receiving end of a slimy blowjob from that dessicated fucker.
Oh, wait. Fucker. OK, I apologize here and now to fuckers everywhere….