According to US networks, Osama’s been killed. Things now change. Right now I’m more worried about global than national circumstances, but I also remember 9/11 and how badly I wanted this man’s head on a stick. There are only a few people on this planet who deserve what Osama’s apparently gotten. Reuters is now confirming his death in an Islamabad mansion.
Goodbye, Osama. Where did I first hear this news? Right here, tonight. Ayman, Omar—you’re next, motherfuckers.
Update, 11:35 p.m. CONFIRMED.Barack Obama has done what GWB failed to do through malfeasance in office, for which he should still be jailed for life.
In any case, Osama is dead. One last time, you motherfucker, goodbye. With all thanks to Barack Obama for carrying out every last measure of his duties in office. My lifelong gratitude.
BTW, this is the 8-year anniversary of GWB’s “Mission Accomplished” debacle. Obama’s too smooth for such bullshit. He just walked up to a camera and said Osama was dead.
Osama, may the devils you dreamed fuck you sideways up the ass forever. Praise Allah.
Oh: AND STAY DEAD YOU MOTHERFUCKER.