Live-Blogging Newt Gingrich’s Super Tuesday Speech, & Super Tuesday In General

I heard Newty Gingrich’s speech tonight in which he promised to make certain you would never “bow to a Saudi king.”

I’m grateful to him for even further disqualifying himself as a potential Pres. candidate.

1) He’d love to forget, I’m certain, how Dubya the Idiot did certain things correctly—for ex., not only did he bow to the Saudi emirate, he held the exalted one’s hand. Newt would like to forget that, of course.

2) The US is now a new exporter of oil. We are all now what a Marlon Brando character called “the Arabs.” And as for Canada, Newt might be begging to Stephen Harper one day regarding the oilsands in the alternative universe of his presidency.

3) Those Lincoln/Douglas references: Obama WOULD DESTROY HIM. MAKE NO MISTAKE ABOUT IT. AND THEN GO OFF TO HAVE A NICE MEAL. NO PROBLEM.

(Please, Newt, just stop. When I was a kid there was this bully about five years older than me. I dreamed about kicking his ass so hard he’d drop out of school. It never happened. He now has three kids and lives a happy life. I think we both won.

Or, a better scenario: You’re a middleweight. Obama’s seven-foot five with a twenty-five foot reach. He can hit you from the locker room. You are a dime-store T-Rex with arms to match. He is your master, and, racist piece of shit that you are, you can’t take it. I enjoy watching you immolate yourself, Newt. It makes me happy, and tonight I can use some happiness.

But when you finally slink back home to Arlington (because Georgia will never have you again), NEVER TURN YOUR BACK ON CALISTA. She could just drill you with those eyes just after she says, “Oh, let’s just spoon….”)

3) 8:58: “This is one of those moments where you could just sell tickets for charity….”

Noot’s talking about the potential debate audience here. Then he derides algae as a fuel source, forgetting to mention that kudzu, the state vegetation of GA besides Gingrich himself, GROWS KINDA LIKE A WEED AND IS A RELIABLE SOURCE FOR FUEL AND WOULD NOT COMPETE WITH THE FOOD SUPPLY?

No, Newt’s not gonna talk about that. It might hurt his friends. Meantime, G-DOT clears away precious resources alongside the interstates every damn day.

9:00 proves Gingrich has no fucking idea about SNL, or about comedy. Period.

9:04 gives us the natural-gas argument. He never calls fracking fracking. Motherfucking fracker.

And so we now know his trajectory still hasn’t altered. He will crash; now, let’s see the Sancto/Romney results.

Advertisements

About johnwylam1957

I'm a poet and teacher now living in Toronto, Ontario, Canada.
This entry was posted in Culture/Politics and tagged , , . Bookmark the permalink.

Leave a Reply

Please log in using one of these methods to post your comment:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s